what's she thinking about?

sometimes when i nurse her she has her eyes open right up to my chest/shirt. i wonder what she's thinking about. sometimes her eyes are closed. it's fascinating and wonderful to breastfeed and i can't imagine someone choosing to NOT do it.

brother

Here's B holding baby T the day she was born. He's such a great big brother. Everyday he carries her picture to school in his pocket. He likes to rub her back/tummy/spot under her nose/cheek for softness & he makes sure she is dressed properly-- wanting socks and shoes for her! He does get a bit rough w/her sometimes and has to be reminded to be gentler. He now calls her "baby bites-a-lot" although she really doesn't bite!

Right now she's grabbing at my nightgown. I guess she needs more milk. Again! :> I think brother should call her "baby eats-a-lot" because her tummy & legs are pretty big.

5-6 hours

I got close to 6 hours of sleep for the 3rd time since she was born. The first time was when she slept in her car seat while we visited my sister in TX when she was about 6 wks old. Then another time, just last weekend, she slept in her bassinet from midnight to 6am. Today she slept till about 4:30 after I fed her between 9/10 pm and I went to sleep around 10:30/11! yay. So I feel refreshed and ready to go @ 5AM! She's fallen back to sleep and I have to wake up my son around 7:30 for school. I guess I'll lie back down to try & get a small nap.

I ate some canned peaches, a mini mounds bar and a cup of soy chocolate milk after I put her down to continue sleeping. I'm trying to count my calories to see if I'm getting enough for breastfeeding. Since my appetite has never in my life been big, and I only eat to live as opposed to living to eat like New Orleans residents do, it's odd to be hungry all the time now. But I wonder how many calories I eat. I do NOT think i eat any where near 2000 like all the food charts servings are based on. We'll see what I consume today. I've begun my list.

smiling

She's smiling at me quite a bit when I make a funny face or noise. She's so cute. Her hair sticks up too. But her little toothless smile is adorable! Sometimes she'll sit for quite a bit w/o making any sound at all, like she's looking at TV and totally understanding what's going on! She also does this thing with her bottom lip, liking a rolling down when she's upset, kinda like a pout looking face but it's so cute! She "boxes" too. Sometimes when we hold her she moves her hands all around like a boxer does. And then "running" while she's lying down. She likes it when I touch her noise, belly button and toes (nariz, ombligo, deditos de pie) and she smiles at that. She'll be 10 weeks old on thursday. Sometimes at night she sleeps better than other nights. Last night I woke up @ 3 and then 6:30AM for feedings; i'd gone to bed around midnight after watching the saints lose on monday night football. She's 13 pounds 14 ounces from her doctor visit and her legs have rolls of fat! And her belly! Like a sumo wrestler :>

untitled-sadness

My sweet girl is 2 months old now and I'll have to go back to work soon which makes me quite depressed. The worst day of my life was April 25, 2001 when I had to go back after my son's birth. Now this new date, upcoming soon, will be my equal worst day. I am praying for a soon end to my need to work, by the end of the year hopefully. Today I just feel depressed and sad. It's midafternoon and I"m still in my pajamas but at least I've eaten a full meal already while she napped. I got a good bit of sleep last night (with a nap this morning ) compared to the night before when I only got about 3 hours. She's crying now and it reminds me of a kitten, so I've called her "gatita" sometimes. She's so sweet and beautiful. I guess I should go feed her now.

blogging for my baby

I write this to memorialize my 2nd child’s birth and new life. She is already 2 months old and I wish to go back in time to be pregnant again and re-live the joy of feeling her inside my belly with hiccups and kicking around. I was extremely sad after I had my son, with overwhelming sadness of wanting him to still be inside my tummy. Of course eventually overcame this. When I became pregnant again 6 years after that, I tried to tell myself to NOT feel that way again, knowing that life goes on and pregnancy is only temporary. But oh how I wish it could last longer–I seem to be the only one to feel this way along with a friend of mine, it seems like everyone wants to get their pregnancy over with.
When I went to the doctor on july 19 and she tested my amniotic fluid and confirmed it was leaking and said i had to get to the hospital right away, I cried–not because I didn’t want to see my baby and know if it was a boy or girl (I refused to find out beforehand even though my husband wanted to know)–but because I wasn’t ready to give up the feeling of kicks and hiccups and closeness I will never feel again. I entered the hospital and began getting antibiotics @ 9:38 am. Doctor came to break water bag fully around12:30; couldn’t walk any more and was confined to bed after that, very uncomfortable bed. At 2pm they began some pitocin for a short time and afterwards I asked for the epidural because I could not get comfortable in the bed and couldn’t move around. I was still just 6 cm dilated after being already to 5 from the previous Monday. I called a coworker at 4:21 to tell her to pass the word around I was asking for the epidural and didn’t know when the baby was coming since I was only 6cm. The very second I hung up the phone I had a major contraction that must have sent me to 10 cm and so the nurse was called for who confirmed the head’s location and the dilation amount to be what was needed! My doctor barely got there and I needed to push. “Let me get the gloves and robe on” she exclaimed! I felt such a strong urge to push (remember I asked for an epidural but didn’t get it). I think I pushed about 4 times and said I was going to pass out. My husband put a cold rag on my head, my sister insisted I wasn’t going to pass out and the doctor said no way was that happening (I love my doctor and am so glad she got to deliver the baby). At 4:41 my sweet girl tzs was born, just 20 minutes after telling my coworker that I didn’t know when the baby would be born! It was so quick and i am very glad I didn’t get the epidural so I felt how it is to give birth w/o medication. I did get something afterward while my doctor stitched up my tear. I nursed my baby and held her until they took her to the nursery for the necessary workings. She was 8 pounds! I couldn’t believe it. I remember that I kept telling God thank you that she came out healthy and I was ok too.
Now she’s 2 months old already. She’s big. And I want her to be small. Oh how I wish to go back in time so she could be smaller again. I know I’ll eventually get over these feelings.
She drinks only breastmilk and is gaining weight nicely. I love to watch her drink the milk from me, it’s so sweet to see. I don’t understand how some mothers choose NOT to nurse the baby! It’s the best experience ever, even though it hurt immensely at first. She’s sleeping 3 hours at a time nowadays and even did a 6 hour stint one night. Her hair sticks up all spikey like and it’s adorable! Her tummy is chubby along with her legs. I love her so much!
Some nights she’s up more and nursing every couple of hours; she’s not consistent at all. she’s done some smiles for us and it’s so cute. Of course she was making these faces @ 3 weeks but nowadays they seem more real. The noises she makes crack me up. They are funny grunting and groanings while she sleeps and stretches. It’s so funny. I love to hear them. And then she makes the funniest faces when she wakes up! She is so sweet.
During the pregnancy I threw up every single day from dec until july 19, the day she was born and i was rarely hungry. Now with nursing her I am hungry a lot! That’s good because I’m told I need a lot of calories to nurse a baby. And in my pre-pregnancy life I’m usually never hungry either.